Girl's dresses
by 1wolfie1
Summary: What would of happened between Susan and Teatime if Banjo hadn't been there to stop him from pulling girl's hair. Warming, it had a mature rating for a reason there is also a clean edit on my page
1. Chapter 1

A/N I do not own any characters that are in this story, I only play with them. I origanly wrote this for a one shot but it ended up being far to long to I've split it up into three chapters to make it easer to digest. Some of the lines from the book have had to be changed slightly. Dew to the law. Chapter posted every week!

"Do you think your going to get away with this?"

"Oh, dear. Do people really say that?" And suddenly Teatime was much closer. "I've got away with it. No more Hogfather. And thats only the start. We'll keep the teeth coming in, of corse. The possibilities are endless."

"They most certainly are not." Said Susan staring Teatime in his one good eye. "Your not getting away with this, I don't care what you think you may have already got away with but you are clearly mistaken."

Teatime started to laugh. He took a step backwards as if daring her to stop him from reaching the door behind him. When she didn't move he turned his back on her and strode towards it. Susan moved as fast as she could taking a step to the side and then moving up besides Teatime. Susan tapped him on the shoulder and, as he looked around, hit him as hard as she could across the face.

That was the plan, at least. He moved faster turning and caught her wrist in his hand. It was like striking an iron bar.

"Oh, no." He said. "I don't think so. This place gets into your head, doesn't it? It pokes around to find out how to deal with you. Well I'm in touch with my inner child"

He reached out with his other hand and grabbed her hair, pulling her head down.

Susan screamed.

"And its much more fun," He whispered.

Susan winced as his gripped tightened on her hair. Out of the corner of her eye around his feet she saw the grayness move again, bouncing off of him like wasps around a pot of jam, trying to find a way in.

"I think, I know you Teatime."

"Teh-ah-tim-eh" Interrupted Teatime automatically, gripping on her hair once again pulling her further down so that Susan's back was now curved. She had the feeling that, that was not an automatic response.

"Your the mad kid they're all scared of, right?" She continued; her scalp beginning to pulse with pain.

"Shut up!" Snapped Teatime.

"The giggling excitable one even bullies never touched because if they did he went insane and kicked and bit. The kid who didn't know the difference between chucking a stone at a cat and setting it on fire.' Susan's words were tumbling out faster as she began to gasp for breath under the excruciating pain coming from his hand twisted in her hair. "I bet no one wanted to play with you. Not the kid with no friends." She said watching his face. "Not the kind of little boy, who looks up dolls dresses."

"SHUT UP!" Roared Teatime. And then Susan was no longer standing; she felt herself hit something cold and hard, her head whipping backwards and smashing into it where Teatimes hand had just been.

It took her a minute to get her wits back and to figure out that what she was pressed against was in fact a wall made of children's teeth. She could no longer feel any ground beneath her feet but something that felt suspiciously like an arm was holding her halfway up a wall.

Susan blinked, Teatime stood glaring up at her.

"Next time I say to shut up Ms. Sto-Helit you would be very well to do so."

Susan laughed. She had found a way in, but looking up dolls dresses were pointless to a man Teatimes age. And nothing beyond looking up dolls dresses existed in a child's mind. Even though Susan was sure it had been her last few words that had triggered Teatimes outburst she knew that if she pushed the subject any further; it would pass over to a conversation only adults could understand, they would no longer be able to remain in the realm that a child's mind had created. She had to play it very carefully.

"Sounds like I hit a sour note Teatime, tell me did the little girl who's dolly that was want to play with you after you stole her doll? Or could even you tell that she already knew what you were. Kids know about a mind like yours even if they don't know the right words for it."

The pressure on her chest increased.

"I said I didn't look." Said Teatime still glaring at Susan.

"Your not a very good lier Teatime. And given the chance I'd bet you'd do it again; maybe even to a real girl this time."

"IDIDN'TIDIDN'TIDIDN'T!" Shouted Teatime.

Susan knew that she was walking on thin ice with the assassin but if she could only keep him distracted long enough for Death to do something.

"Yes you did!"

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't!"

"You looked up girls dresses and you know it!" She felt like a clild in in the playground.

The pressure on her chest lightened, Teatime had looked away from her to the floor. Around his feet the grayness bounced around erratically; its confused she thought. The things Teatime must be thinking no child would be able to understand; it had no way in, not to an adult mind.

And that was it, a child that still believed in the tooth fairy would not be able to understand the fascination of looking up real girls dresses for any other propose then to see where they hid their trousers. But Teatime knew very well that they didn't wear trousers.

There was a loud sound like corse fabric ripping all around them and a crash as they hit a new non marble floor. Susan landed on her behind opining her eyes to just in time to see Teatime land on his. He looked around, his mismatched eyes falling on her.

"What did you do!"

"I didn't do anything. You did!"

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Oh, I'm not getting into this again." Susan sighed getting up.

"Take me back!" Demanded Teatime doing the same.

"I most certainly will not! If your that desperate you can just go the way you first went."

She felt the blade before she saw the blur.

"Now if I have to I'm rather more then willing to do away with you politely; but as I'm sure you can see, you have put me in rather a tight spot. Witch I am unable to get out of without your . . . help. So if you would be so kind as just to send me back to the tooth fairy's castle and leave yourself here, I'll even be as kind to put my knife away."

Susan swallowed. Teatime was now so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek.

"I didn't bring us here, like I said, you did. You thought whatever you thought back there and the castle sent us away."

"I don't believe you."

"Well then let me explain it for you." Said Susan huffly. "You were thinking of looking up women's dresses, for other then innocent reasons. A child would not know why you would do such a thing. Sex dose not exist to a child, therefore you got us thrown out of a place that only a child's mind understood."

Teatime looked quite shocked.

"I was not thinking about procreating." He said.

"Sex."

"Don't be so corse, it dose not suit such an elegant lady."


	2. Chapter 2

Elegant lady? Was that really- Oh wait, they were back in the real world and Susan's hair had managed to fix itself into its usual untamed bun making her look presentable. Susan decided she might just be able to use this in her favor.

Doing as she had read about in books with needy heroins who always got saved by some prince, she forced a blush trying to look shy.

"You . . . you think I'm and elegant lady Mr Teh-ah-tim-eh?"

"You . . . uhh" She felt the knife drop from her throat, saw Teatime try to backtrack in his mind. "You got my name right. "

"Well thank you, I don't get many compliments, seeing as who I am."

Teatime seemed to be able to look anywhere but at Susan.

"I really mean it, thank you." She laid a hand on his arm, pulling another leaf out of the heroin's book and tried her best to look coy.

"What I mean to say madam, is that no lady should talk in such a way."

"So, you don't think I'm an elegant lady?" Even though she knew it was only a game, Susan couldn't help but feel a little insulted.

"No, no. Thats not what I'm saying. You are. But-"

"But no you don't find me attractive in anyway."

"I didn't say that." Said Teatime finally looking at her again.

"So you do find me attractive?"

This seemed to be ether confusing him or agitating him, Susan couldn't tell. But for some reason, forgetting logic, she wanted the answer.

"Yes, fine. You are attractive . . . In a skinny way."

"Good. And I suppose if you wasn't completely insane, you would be too."

The words slipped out of her mouth before she had thought it through, it was only polite to compliment someone back if they complemented you. It was what you did in normal society, oh but not when you've demanded the answer from them. Bloody damn.

Teatime didn't respond, but a grin had appeared on his boyish features. It was then that Susan realized just how close they were; they hadn't moved since he put away the knife.

She could feel the heat from his body.

"You know when words such as these are exchanged between a man and a woman, it is seen that they should court." He said.

"Oh yes, because going to a show with the assassin that is trying to kill the Hogfather would do us both so good."

"Have you ever been courted before?"

"Have you?"

"No. So as I see it we have two options, we can find out if ether one of us are good at courting, or we could skip that part all together and move right to the next step." Teatime said, looking her up and down.

"We shall do neither of them things!" Said Susan, outraged to the point that her hair began to curl.

"You can't tell me that you've never wondered what it would be like, feel like. I've herd its ecstasy." Teatime took a small step forward, closing what little gap they had between them. His arm wrapped lightly around her waist in a touch that was too gentle for what she had seen from him. It stopped her from being able to back away even so.

"I hear things, at school. They say that once you've experienced it you'll never be able to live without it. I often lie in bed at night wondering what could possibly be so good that you can not live without. Air; water, food, they are a given but this is something that dose not come automatically. Or dose it?" He said his voice filled even in a whisper with a peculiarly dreadful sort of glee.

Susan reached for the sword on her belt, only to remember that it must of been left back at the tooth fairy's castle.

"I wouldn't know." She said glaring.

"You've never tried it ether then." Teatime said more happily then Susan was comfortable with. "We should, try it."

With that his mouth was suddenly on hers. The action took her so much by surprise that she didn't think to fight back. His lips were soft against hers, something that Susan wouldn't of expected, even if she had kissed him willingly; and he was good. For a boy with no experience; he seemed to know what he was doing.

Teatime pulled back, leaving Susan gasping for air.

"Well." He said. "That was . . . good."

Teatime leaned in again, but this time her brain seemed to be working.

"Don't you dare!"

He looked quizzled.

"You can't tell me you didn't like it, you made a noise. A nice noise."

"I most certainly did not!"

"Yes you did, and I wouldn't mind if I made you make it again." Susan held up a hand to stop him, but it only achieved to slip over his shoulder and allow her arm to curl around his neck.

Bugger it! She thought, Now it looks like I want this.

Again his mouth met hers; repeating the same actions as last time, only now his tongue licked at her bottom lip wanting accesses. Now Susan knew this gesture, she had done things in the past with Imp, and she had quite liked it. But the thing that scared her, and nothing ever scared her, was who she was willing to give the accesses to.

Teatime made a noise, halfway between a moan and a hum, as his tongue met with Susan's. Inside their mouths a war began to see who could get the upper hand, or tongue so to speak. The feeling of it was more amazing then Jonathan had imagined it to be, but still he always liked to have the upper hand.

Susan found herself falling to the floor; but not crashing into it, the hand around her waist stopped her from being hurt then laid her down gently. Teatime was above her, resting on his forearms; his blonde curls falling into his mismatched eyes and so close that they tickled her cheeks.

"Stop! We can't do this-" But again her mouth was taken over.

She shouldn't be doing this, thought Susan, and she damned well shouldn't be enjoying it this much! Not with a crazed assassin anyway, with a man that she would be happy to take home to meet her grandfather. Not that she would ever take a man home to meet her grandfather. But ohhhhhh it felt good.

By now Teatime had gotten bored with her mouth and had started to trail kisses down her neck and, along her jawline. He only came to a stop when he was obstructed by her cloak. But that was quickly ripped from her shoulders.

Susan let out a small cry of protest that went unnoticed.

Teatime's hands started to travel up and down her sides, hard enough to be felt through her corset. The sensation of his mouth and his hands combined made her want to scream, but Susan being Susan tried to regain a small amount of her self restraint and didn't.

His mouth had found its way to the top of her breasts; when once again he was obstructed from going further, he pulled at her corset.

"Damn thing." He muttered. "How do you get this off!"

Susan giggled. Well that was odd; she thought.

"Fine if your not going to help, I'll just do it my way." A knife appeared in his hand out of the depths of his clothing and quickly sliced through her corset, bottom to top. It fell away leaving only her undergarments, the top of which had also been cut by the knife and exposed the most part of her breasts.

Teatime seemed pleased with this. His face a picture of wonder.

His mouth went back to work while her hands were the ones to start working next; first pulling at his heavy black coat, then at the buttons on his waistcoat. Once they were both unbuttoned, off his shoulders and out the way, she started work on his shirt.

Even though he looked like a matchstick model, underneath all that black Jonathan Teatime was mostly muscle. That explained a lot thought Susan. She traced the outline of his chest; running her hand over the blonde hair on it, before snaking her way down to follow the contours of the built up abs he had for a stomach. Her hand brushed the top of his trousers and her fingers started to work on the buttoning. She stopped abruptly when she felt the bulge in them.

"What are you dong?" Asked Teatime from her neck.

"No - nothing."

"Then why did you stop?"

The truth was that she was scared, out of all the things; the bogymen, the monsters, even Teatime himself. She was scared of being intimate.

How Ironic, she thought.

"I . . . Look I've never done this before-"

"Nor have I, so figuring it out as we go along sounds like the best thing. Doesn't it?"

Susan didn't have a chance to reply, Teatime was a savage when it came down to it. His mouth was already back in its place bitting and kissing at her neck. His hand began to travel up her leg, making little swirls and pattens as it went, and pulling it up with it. Susan's breathed hitched in her chest.

With his hands busy with Susan's skirt Teatime's mind returned to what he was thinking at the castle. Yes, he would admit, but only to himself, that there was a time as a small child; that he once looked up a doll's dress. He got a slap from the dolly's owner for that when he was caught. But real girl's dresses he had never gotten a chance to; none seemed to want to be in the same building with him long enough for him to even talk to them. He didn't really have much time for them anyway. He had much more important things to preoccupy his mind. But then Susan came along.

She had strode in on his work, all messy white hair and Death's granddaughter, with that determined look on her face. She fascinated him.

A moan broke his chain of thought, Susan had arched her back, her undergarments slipping off her shoulders, her hands tightly around his wrists trying to pull them up to the even increasing ache between her legs and her face flushed enough to see her birthmark.

She felt him give her skirt one final tug and it came up over her hips.

Her hands reached back to his trousers, Teatime leaned back on his heals to allow her to undo the buttons. Its was exactly three seconds later that Susan had her knickers ripped off of her.

It was exactly zero point zero one seconds after that, that Teatime thrust into her.

The first intrusion sent a jolt through Susan's whole body. It hurt, that was for sure. But a few seconds later her body had gotten used to the action of being intruded agin and again.

Susan let out a scream, it never occurred to her before that they might of landed in someone's house and could be waking them up. But right now, she couldn't give a damn.

The feeling wasn't like anything ether of them had experienced before, the noises that Susan made with every one of his thrusts made Teatime hiss in pleasure. He did like this, very much, the other boy's at school at had been right. We was not going to live without doing this again.

A few minutes in Susan's stomach began to knot and warm, her breathing become to come in pants, her fingernails dug hard enough into Teatime's back to draw blood.

There was a rush of her senses; as if being hit by a giant wave and Susan screamed again. She also herd Teatime make some sort of noise before feeling something wet and warm pumped into her, then he was pulling away.


	3. Chapter 3

She lay there breathless and half naked, trying to gather her senses back up to their usual standard. She watched Teatime out of the corner of her eye; he had laid himself on the floor next to her, his trousers buttoned back up and his eyes closed with a smile on his face.

He looks almost, normal, thought Susan. If I didn't know what a crazed killer he was; I would probably court him.

As if reading her mind, Teatime opened his eyes; meeting Susan's gaze with that mismatched stare. The black one looked navy blue in the light, while the white and yellow one with its pinprick of a pupil looked her up and down. Susan decided that she could just about get used to looking at those eyes.

"So . . . Did you like it? Can you live without it?" Queried Teatime, his gaze coming back up to rest on her face.

"I liked it." Admitted Susan reluctantly There was no sense in lying. "And I would like to do it again, one day."

"Why wait?" He asked, with childlike curiosity.

"Because that shouldn't have happened between us!" She cried, sitting up and brushing her skirt back down. "But now that we've got that out of our systems and we know it will never, ever, happen again, if you don't object I would quite like to go and correct what you've done at the tooth fairy's castle."

By the time she had finished she had gathered her cloak, pinning it further down as not to show that she no longer wore her corset; which she chose to leave on the floor along with her torn knickers. By this time,Teatime had also managed to put his shirt and waistcoat back on.

"So you lied, you can get back?" He said reproachfully.

"I thought I couldn't before, but, now I've realised that my grandfather's sword is still there. So technically yes, I can go back. But I am most definitely not taking you with me. You've caused enough trouble as it is."

This time it was Susan who didn't give Teatime a chance to argue, closing her eyes and finding her way back to the sword.

But she was fast learning that things didn't seem to go as planned when Mr Teatime was around. Unless, of course, they happened to be his plans.

The sound of coarse fabric ripping filled the air and her back was greeted by cold marble. Susan opened her eyes to find Teatime had tried to yank her back by her hair.

Damn.

Susan felt his grip lessen. There was a wet thump like a piece of steak hitting a slab and Teatime was sent flying away from her.

"No pullin' girls' hair," Rumbled Banjo. "That's bad."

Teatime bounced back up like an acrobat and steadied himself on the railing of the stairwell.

Then he drew the sword. Susan had never even seen him reach for it.

The blade was invisible in the bright light of the tower.

"It's true what the stories say, then." He said. "So thin you can't see it. I'm going to have so much fun with it." He waved it at them. "So light."

"You wouldn't dare use it. My grandfather will come after you," Susan said walking towards him.

She saw his eye twitch.

"He comes after everyone. But I'll be ready for him." Said Teatime.

"He's very single minded." Said Susan, closer now.

"Ah, a man after my own heart."

"Could be Mr Teatime."

"You said my name right before. Don't do that."

He brought the sword around. She didn't even have time to duck.

And she didn't even try to when swung the sword back again.

"It doesn't work here." She said as he stared at it in astonishment. "The blade doesn't exist here. There is no death here."

She slapped him across the face.

"Hi inner child." She said brightly. "I'm the inner babysitter."

She thrust out her arm, palm first, catching him on the chin. He was lifted backwards over the rail.

He somersaulted. She didn't know how, and grabbed hold of her arm.

Her feet came off the ground and she was over the rail. She caught it with her other hand.

Would he really be mad enough to kill the person who was holding him? Even after the earlier events that had happened between them? Susan's question was answered very quickly . . . She kicked down at him and hit him on the ear. Her sleeve tore.

For an instant he held onto nothing and then, still wearing the expression of someone trying to solve a complex problem, he fell away.

Susan heard him hit the pile of teeth, not bearing to look down after him.

A hand like a bunch of bananas pulled Susan back over the rail.

"We got in trouble for playin' with girls." Said Banjo. "No plain' with girls, no Pullin' dare' hair. Our mam said'

"Good, at least someone around here is a gentleman."

"Our mam-" Said Banjo trying to work things out. "Our mam was here, but she weren't our mam."

"You mum was here?"

"She took our Davey. Then she went away. Bust she weren't our mam, 'cos they buried our mam-"

"I tell out what Banjo." Said Susan. "I'll have a look for him, but I bet he's gone somewhere nice."

"Yeah."

"Can you do something for me Banjo?" The big man nodded. "Can you go downstairs and sweep all the teeth out of the circle for me? Can you do that Banjo?"

Banjo nodded.

"Good off you go then."

Susan watched him plod off, and then looked at the white doorway.

It clicked open.

For further information see Terry Pratchett's Hogfather. It's been nice writing for you, R+R please?


End file.
